A Love In Denial
by Doomed to be Uke
Summary: Though Manjyome always teased Shou, it was always just out of love. When Shou's upset, Manjyome finally tells him how he feels by accident. But now he feels like he messed up big time. Manjyome x Shou or Chazz x Syrus SHOUNEN AI! Please R&R!


Title: "A Love in Denial"

Author: Vanilla

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Manjyome x Shou (Chazz x Syrus) and mentions of one-sided Judai x Shou (Jaden x Syrus).

Genre: Romance and angst

A/N: So 'Nilla's obsessed with a random couple again, hehe. I started writing this in study hall and I liked the idea so I decided to continue with it. This story takes place in season 4 so Shou is now in Obelisk Blue and Judai is "on a journey to become an adult". But other than that there's really no spoilers, so dontcha worry!

Warnings: This fanfic contains **SHOUNEN-AI** (BOY x BOY relationships)!!! If you don't like it then don't read, it's as easy as that.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or Yugioh GX at all. But MAN if I did…naughty things would happen. ;D

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-Manjyome's POV-

_He'll never have any idea what I'm really feeling. Thank god._

_I tease him, make fun of him every chance I get and I even made him cry a few times. Not that I think that was my fault...the boy's sensitive! It's not my problem if he can't take a little "criticism". _

_But now I have to be real…even though it may LOOK this way, I don't actually hate him. I'm too good to hate a cute little boy…Judai Yuki does NOT count, however, because I DO hate him. Ahem, but anyway…_

_I'll admit it. Something about Shou made me go soft. I think about him more than I should, I think he's cuter than I should, and okay fine, I love him waaaay more than I should._

_Why? Probably just about the same reasons why I liked Asuka. It just happened. I don't need a reason and even if I had a reason I wouldn't tell you._

_But liking Shou is hell of a lot different than liking Asuka for one simple reason; even though if the boy wore a dress he could pull off as a girl in a heartbeat Shou DOES have a penis, believe it or not, making him none other than a BOY. Who would've guessed?_

…_Yep, Manjyome-sanda is bi. That's right. The most perfect person in the world is bi and is falling for a pathetic loser of an uke._

_Maybe it's because I don't know how to deal with these feelings, that's why I do it. I don't know. And you could tell me all you want that it's immature to pick on someone just because you like them…do you think I'll really care? When was the last time I cared about being "mature"? Manjyome-sanda acts like how he wants to act and no one could tell me other wise. Damn right._

…_But damn, love fucking sucks. I'm -the- Manjyome Thunder!!! I don't care about anyone but myself!! And yet here I am obsessing over one completely annoying, whiny, short, but really insanely adorable…bratty, wimpy, pathetic, but absolutely fuckable…BOY. _

…_I'm too good to deal with things like this._

_All I know is that I CAN'T and I'll repeat it, CAN'T let him know how I feel._

…_But staring at him and continuing to pick on him just so how I could see how cute he is when he's mad is fine, right? I'll go with that._

-END POV-

It was a beautiful, clear day outside but rather chilly. And because Duel Academy was on an island, the sea breeze from the ocean made it seem even cooler as the trees rustled in the wind.

But that didn't stop the students of DA from walking around the school, talking to each other and engaging in pointless duels that didn't really mean anything, that were surrounding the campus.

…Seriously…didn't ANYONE attend class here?

And then there was one boy, Marufuji Shou, who was sitting alone on the dock, his back leaned up against the lighthouse for support. With his brand new Obelisk Blue uniform, and his blank and almost aloof expression that he had on as he watched wave after wave crash against the pavement of the dock, it was almost as if his big brother Ryo came back to the school only in a shorter and nearly chibi-ish form.

Not known to Shou, however, there was someone watching him near by, Manjyome Thunder. Manjyome had been watching Shou intently for quite some time now but still if asked, he'd insist that he was anything but a stalker.

But how could he not stare? Though he would rather swim a marathon in battery acid than admit it, Manjyome thought that Shou looked…nice….cute…okay fine, _beautiful._

Shou's soft baby-blue hair that was so fluffy it looked like it could be a pillow, swayed gently in the breeze. His large silver eyes glistened as he stared out at the ocean, and his soft little lips looked so pink, kissable and not to mention very sweet. Shou's expression at the moment was serious and for the most part very thoughtful, but still the silver-eyed bluenette managed to stay at insane cuteness at every moment. But in his expression there was also a slight hint of sadness that was present. And though Manjyome would rather swim a marathon in battery acid WHILE being stabbed repeatedly with butcher knives than admit _this_, seeing Shou's slight but obvious sadness made Manjyome want to pick that boy up and hug him over and over again until Shou looked happy again.

And, speaking of hugging Shou, Manjyome's eyes started to trail down Shou's body. The boy was so small and petite, but he was also SO irresistibly cute. He was so delicate and preciously sweet, Manjyome would hug him in a heart-beat if given the chance to. And if, you know, it would be okay to.

With these thoughts Manjyome started to blush slightly as he shook his head to try and think about something else. _You're crazy._ He thought to himself, _This is wrong on SO many levels. Out of ALL the hot girls that are in this school you went and fell for a freakin' boy. I really need to stop hanging around Judai…he's turning me gay._

Manjyome continued to watch Shou despite him knowing that he probably shouldn't. He saw Shou let out a sigh as the smaller boy brought his knees to his chest and hug them. Shou then leaned his head on his knees. Manjyome couldn't help but feel sorry for him as he looked at him. Shou always seemed to be angsting about something, especially lately, but it didn't mean that Manjyome LIKED seeing that. He _did_ want to do something about it…even though he never did.

The black-haired boy continued to watch Shou and he saw that Shou didn't lift his head back up again. Was he crying? Either way, Manjyome knew that something had to have been seriously wrong. And though the way they both acted towards each other they couldn't really be considered "best friends", Manjyome knew that he couldn't just watch any longer.

As he walked over onto the dock next to Shou, he saw that the smaller boy didn't even look up. Hell, the way he was acting, he probably didn't even notice that anyone was next to him. Manjyome rolled his eyes and looked away feeling slightly awkward as he cleared his throat to get Shou's attention.

The bluenette looked up, his eyes watery, showing that he was most definitely crying a few minutes ago. "Manjyome-kun…?" Shou asked, questioningly. "What do you want?" He looked away from the taller boy, staring back at the ocean blankly.

"What the hell is wrong with you this time?" Manjyome asked in his usual I-don't-care-about-anyone tone. "You've been sitting there for hours in self-pity...er, not that I was watching you or anything…" He shook his head, "You do this at least twice a week now, what could be bothering you THAT much, AGAIN and AGAIN?"

Shou was quiet for a while and still continued looking away from Manjyome. He finally responded, however, with a sigh. "It's none of your business." He said simply. "I don't have to tell you anything, so just leave me alone."

Manjyome looked down at Shou and glared. He had to admit that he wasn't exactly SURPRISED by the way Shou was responding. Manjyome was a jerk to the smaller bluenette nearly every time he saw him, so it made sense that Shou would have a sharp tone to him right back. But he wasn't about to give up today.

He sighed, "Stop being stubborn, moron. What are you proving to anyone just sitting there and being miserable by yourself? I'm the first person to actually come over here and check on you and you're going to push me away? I'm better than nothing, so stop crying, and just tell me what you're crying about in the first place. It's better than coming over here HOPING someone would come here to pity you." He continued to look away stubbornly as he folded his arms, determined to not show a hint of caring nature to the small bluenette.

Shou bit his lower lip nervously and didn't say anything for a while. He obviously didn't want to tell Manjyome anything, but within seconds he quickly changed his mind. Though they fought a lot and Manjyome wouldn't be his first-choice in anything, they _were_ friends in a way. "I-it's Judai-kun…" Was Shou's small response.

Manjyome rolled his eyes and scoffed at the name. OF COURSE it was about Judai, he should've known!! Judai was the ONLY thing Shou _ever_ thought about!! _I shouldn't even bothered coming over here. I could care less about that idiot Judai…I don't want to hear Shou rant about him for the next 10 minutes._

But Manjyome couldn't get himself leave, despite his stubborn nature. He mumbled, "…Go on."

Shou looked up at Manjyome for a second, seeming to be a little surprised that the taller boy was actually still willing to listen. "He…it's just…it's everything." He said, his small voice starting to shake. He looked down at the floor solemnly as tears started to form once again in those large silver-eyes. "I don't understand Aniki anymore." He said, obviously trying hard not to cry. "He used to be my best friend…no, he's STILL my best friend. But I…I feel like there's nothing I could do to help him and be there for him anymore. I used to always stay by his side, and even though back then too there was nothing I could do…I still tried my hardest to at least support him…that way…Judai-kun would always know that no matter what happens he'll always have someone to stand by him. But now…it's like I'm nothing to him anymore." With these words Shou couldn't help but start to cry slightly, tears rolling down his cheeks. "He's on a completely different level than me…and not only that but now…" He covered his face with his hands as he sobbed into them. "It's like he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore…!! I just…I just want him to at least LOOK at me again...I wish things could be the way they used to be…"

Manjyome was silent that whole time while Shou spoke, but then slowly felt the anger boiling up within him. It wasn't directly at Shou, obviously, but more at Judai. Judai was hurting Shou so much but that brunette was too damn dense to even have a clue about it!!! Shou fucking WORSHIPED the ground beneath Judai, and the least Judai could do was pay attention to his self proclaimed "best friend"! Judai was different than Manjyome. Judai had the ability to get close to people and keep it that way. He was a good friend, he wasn't mean to anyone and he didn't push anyone away like Manjyome did. In fact, Judai was almost the exact opposite of Manjyome in a way. So why the hell was Judai no where to be found while Manjyome was left to comfort the crying uke? It wasn't right at all, and it made Manjyome more pissed off than ever to think about how un-respectful and stupid Judai was being.

But at the same time, Manjyome was also angry with jealousy. Though Shou was insisting that Judai was his "best friend", it was obvious to Manjyome and everyone in the school that there was something else there. Clearly Shou was in love with Judai, and he had been since the moment he entered the school. The one question Manjyome had been asking himself, even _before_ he started developing these feelings for Shou was this; WHAT did Shou see in Judai!? Judai was an idiot, immature, dense as hell, and happy at all the wrong moments. And now he was being a horrible friend to Shou, so he didn't even have that friendship thing going for him. But Shou was so sickeningly _loyal_. Even after all the hurt and all the heartbreak and all the rejection, Shou still loved Judai. And frankly it made Manjyome _sick_.

_It doesn't make any sense!!!!_ Manjyome thought, feeling himself get angrier and angrier with jealousy as the seconds went by. _It doesn't even matter if Shou and I aren't that great of friends…I'm STILL a better choice than that dumb Yuki kid. At least I'd TREAT him nicely!! Okay, fine, when I'm not being stubborn I'd treat him better…fuck it, at least I wouldn't IGNORE him!! And once I got over my stupid embarrassment I would be the best boyfriend ever. The best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for! Because I'm just THAT good. I'm a better choice than Judai…I know I'm a better choice than Judai would ever be but still he…_

Finally Manjyome couldn't stay quiet any longer. "You need to forget about Judai." He said in an annoyed tone, "He's not worth it for a second. He's an idiot and I don't know why you even bother to give him the time of day. Obviously he doesn't want anything to do with you, so why don't you just get a clue and drop it!? It kind of gets old after a while, and it's annoying." Manjyome didn't mean for his words to come out as harsh as they sounded, really he didn't. He was just being honest, and most of his dialogue at the moment was fueled by jealousy and resentment against Judai anyway.

Shou looked shocked when Manjyome said all of that, which at least in turn made his tears stop. But at the same time he looked slightly hurt, probably over hearing that Judai didn't want anything to do with him. That was one of Shou's fears and having someone feed on that fear at the moment was the last thing he needed.

But Shou's pained face quickly changed as he stood up and glared up at the taller boy. "You…you jerk!!" He said, raising his voice as he forced himself to keep it steady. "Judai IS worth it!! You know nothing about him!! Judai Yuki is the greatest person in this school…no, the greatest person in the whole world!! He did so much these past few years, if it wasn't for him all of us wouldn't even be here!! He's a hero…he's my role model…Aniki…Aniki is..." Shou looked down, his expression darkened by his hair. But after a second he looked up again, tears present in his eyes once more but he still managed to glare, "ANIKI IS MY EVERYTHING!!!!" He shouted, unable to hold back his emotions anymore. "I _LOVE_ HIM!!"

Hearing Shou say all of this about his precious Judai Yuki made Manjyome even _more_ jealous. He glared back at Shou, "Aniki is my _everythinggg..._" He said in a mocking tone, "Listen to you!! If you really feel that than you're just as pathetic and stupid as he is!!!! How, the hell, are you going to WORSHIP someone that doesn't even know that you're there!?"

Shou wasn't holding back, despite how much hearing all of this hurt. "You're the pathetic and stupid one for saying things like this!!! You don't know ANYTHING about Aniki!! You're just jealous because he's everything you're not!!"

Manjyome glared, even angrier because the smaller boy had just hit a nerve without even realizing it. He looked down at the floor, his face covered in shadows as he mumbled, "He has everything I don't have too…"

Shou's expression softened and turned into a questioning look as he stared up at Manjyome, "What did you say?" He asked softly, just curious.

Manjyome looked back at Shou and gave him a pained smile as he laughed slightly. "You're just as dense as he is." He said, "Why can't you just stay around people that actually want you around? There are people that love you right now as we speak, and yet you still choose to cling to Judai instead. I don't get you. Why can't you just open your eyes and see that there are better people who love you as much as you may love Judai."

Shou didn't understand Manjyome's sudden change of mood, and continued to look up at him, confused. "What are you talking about…?" Manjyome didn't say anything. "M-Manjyome-kun…?" Shou asked, his voice small and light.

And it was then that Manjyome snapped. "Moron." He said simply. "You're a fucking idiot." And with those words, Manjyome grabbed onto Shou's shoulders, pulling the bluentte's small frame to the taller boy's body. Leaning down, he kissed Shou deeply on the lips which caused Shou's eyes to widen as he blushed darkly and his whole body tensed. But Manjyome ignored Shou's reaction and just continued the kiss, happy that all the pent-up passion and emotions were finally being let loose in this one single moment.

And then something unexpected happened Shou kissed Manjyome back. The bluenette didn't know exactly what he was doing, but he was feeling _something_ though he couldn't explain it. He never kissed anyone before, and he was obviously shy, but it was certain to Manjyome that Shou actually _was_ kissing him back. Shou relaxed, and let his eyes flutter shut as he wrapped his arms around the taller boy's neck.

This gave Manjyome more confidence as he held Shou around the waist. He continued kissing Shou, his tongue finding its way past Shou's lips as he slid it through the bluenette's mouth. His hands trailed up the back of Shou's shirt just slightly.

Shou was clinging to Manjyome as they kissed and his tongue shyly brushed against Manjyome's, making a small sound as he did so.

After a few moments, Shou was the one to break the kiss. He panted for air, blushing furiously. He had grown completely shy and embarrassed after that one kiss, but at the same time he was also dizzy with a passion that he wouldn't be able to begin to understand. "M-Manjyome-kun…!" Shou finally managed to squeak out, "W-what was that for…!?"

Manjyome was shocked himself that he did that, and couldn't help but blush now too. _What _was he thinking!? Kissing Shou like that!! Here he was trying so hard to keep his little feelings a big secret, and now he went and gave it away the worst way possible. Currently Manjyome was cursing himself out mentally, but he knew it was too late now. There was no getting out of this unless he ran away and vowed to never see Shou again. And being that wasn't very possible, Manjyome was stuck there…forced to tell Shou the truth. He looked away stubbornly, while still blushing. "If I have to answer that, then you really _are_ the biggest idiot in the world."

Shou's eyes widened as he stared at Manjyome while blushing hard, both shocked and embarrassed at what the taller boy was saying. "I…y-you…d-does that mean that you…you like me!?"

Manjyome looked back at Shou, his cheeks still slightly pink, "No, I just kissed you because I thought it would be funny to see the expression on your face when I did. OH, and also to just randomly kiss you for the HELL OF IT!!" He said in a sarcastic tone while rolling his eyes. He then glared down at the smaller boy, "_YES_ I like you, you fucking idiot!!!" Though Manjyome was trying to make light of this and pretend like it was no big deal, he was panicking inwardly and was nervous as hell over what he was going to do to get out of this mess. He decided to just keep acting like himself and trying to not show any embarrassment. He wasn't sure how it would help the situation at all, but it was better than blushing and flailing around like an idiot. "So what if I like you, anyway!? It doesn't matter…I'm the best duelist here at Duel Academy!! You should be _honored_ that THE Jun Manjyome Thunder likes you! I mean, who WOULDN'T want me to like them!?" He laughed nervously and awkwardly.

Though Manjyome was rambling on and on about nothing and being conceited as always, Shou couldn't take this as jokingly as the taller boy was. He shook his head, still looking both confused and shy as his face was still flushed with a light shade of red. "I just…I don't understand…I…"

Manjyome was getting annoyed, was his feelings really THAT big of a deal!? Why couldn't Shou just drop it and leave him alone?! Manjyome felt that he was being put under pressure now and he really just wanted to change the subject and pretend that the one single kiss never happened. He glared at Shou stubbornly, "Are you really that dumb and dense to figure this out?! I love you and that's that, just shut up already!!!"

Shou glared back, being just as stubborn. "I won't shut up!!" He squeaked out. He then started to blush and placed his fingers to his lips. "And you…you kissed me!! You stole my first kiss without my permission!!!" Shou was blushing as he said this and Manjyome thought that he looked so insanely cute hearing the smaller boy's squeaky and embarrassed tone as he went and stated the obvious. It made Manjyome want to steal another kiss from the boy, though he knew very well how dangerous that was and how he shouldn't make the situation even worse.

"Yeah, _and_!?" Manjyome said, still attempting to shrug all of this off as if it was no big deal. "YOU didn't seem to be complaining too much when I did it!!! In fact…you kissed me back!!!! Why don't you go and explain THAT to me!!!"

Shou blushed darkly when he heard that last part, knowing that he couldn't deny it. He _did_ kiss Manjyome back…and still to this very moment he couldn't understand why. When he felt Manjyome's lips against his own he just…he couldn't explain it. Something felt _right_ and something made him want to kiss back.

"Nothing to say, huh? Thought so." Manjyome said not keeping his eyes off from Shou.

Shou shook his head and started to put the mood back into a serious one. He blushed and looked sad and incredibly guilty as he stared down at the floor, unable to meet Manjyome's eyes. "Manjyome-kun…" Shou started, Manjyome had to look away, already fearing what was going to happen next. "T-that kiss…it was weird…I know that, but I…" He looked up at Manjyome, tears forming in his eyes once again evidence alone that he did indeed feel bad. "I'm sorry…I don't…I…"

Manjyome shook his head, urging Shou not to continue. The smaller boy quickly stopped. Manjyome laughed nervously again and then grinned an awkward smile down at him. "Whatever." He said simply. "It doesn't matter that much. It's not like this hasn't happened before… In fact, I'm used to things like this…I don't care at all."

Shou looked hurt, still feeling bad at having to reject him. "Manjyome-kun…"

Manjyome shook his head, and then continued to grin awkwardly down at Shou. "Don't give me that crap." He said, "I told you I don't care. It's not like I'm going to run away and start crying like a girl or something…I'm not you." Shou opened his mouth for a second like he was going to say something, but Manjyome placed a finger over the smaller boy's lips to keep him quiet. "Shut it." He said, "This doesn't change anything, you know. Don't think I'm going to start being nice to you or something just because I like you. Besides, it's not like my feelings are THAT big of a deal, anyway, they'll probably go away soon enough… And once they do, things will go back to normal and we can just forget this whole thing happened."

Manjyome was hurt even though he wasn't expecting Shou to like him back anyway. Either way, standing here and talking to the object of his affections was hard, and he couldn't stand there and pretend like his heart wasn't breaking any longer.

He turned to walk away, looking over his shoulder one last time. "Just pretend this never happened. It's not worth it anyway. And it was never going to be worth it, even if I tried."

Shou quickly protested, "But Manjyome I can't just--"

Manjyome interrupted him with a wave, "Bye, Shou, and I hope you feel better and stop feeling sorry for yourself…and actually open your eyes for once." And with that the black haired boy walked away leaving Shou on his own, and not looking back again.

Shou could only watch as Manjyome left, and he didn't have a clue about how he was feeling. He placed his hands on his confused heart and stared at Manjyome with a pained expression. "Manjyome-kun..." He whispered to himself, the sound quickly getting carried away and forgotten in the wind.

Manjyome stared down at the floor as he walked, his expression hidden from all of the DA students. _Way to go, Manjyome-sanda. You really fucked things up this time…_He looked up and scowled, glaring up at the sky as he stopped walking. _I'm an idiot. I'm just a pathetic idiot...the one time I actually get the courage to tell him how I feel, I mess it up… Figures, right? _

Manjyome wasn't the type of person to think that he was ever wrong and he certainly wasn't the type of a person that let little and petty things get to him. But for the very first time in his life he was regretting his previous actions and wishing that he could just change this one little problem he was having.

He was so tormented right now over one boy, one small and innocent boy.

-END-

A/N: Well that's it! Special thanks to SukiMoon who helped me with this story. I never wrote Manjyome's character before, but because SukiMoon actually IS Manjyome in real life, she helped me with the things that he said and stuff. I hope that you enjoyed this story!! And I MAY write a second chapter to this if I get enough reviews so we'll see…tell me what you think!!


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